When to use this or that in English
I still get emails from students who write to me asking the same question every few months: when do you actually use this versus that in English? The textbook answer is always "near vs far," but the reality is messier than that. After years of teaching English as a second language and correcting thousands of student papers, I've learned that the difference isn't just about physical distance. It's about psychological distance and what the speaker wants to foreground in a conversation.
quando usar this ou that
Here's the baseline. This refers to something close to the speaker, either physically or in terms of the topic at hand. That refers to something farther away, whether literally or conceptually. But once you move past the beginner level, the rules blur considerably. Let me walk through some practical situations where native speakers use these in ways that textbooks don't really cover. When you're introducing something new into a conversation, you typically use this. When you're referring back to something already established, you tend to use that. Think about it like this: you pick up a new tool and say, "I bought this hammer today." Later, you reference it again as "that hammer I mentioned." It's not about where the object is sitting on your desk. It's about where it lives in the conversation.
I ran into a specific problem with this last year when I was editing a student's essay about climate policy. She wrote a paragraph that started with "This government policy has failed..." and every sentence after that repeated "this" because she wanted to maintain continuity. The problem was that she had already introduced the topic two paragraphs earlier. By that point, "that government policy" would have been the natural choice. The reader had already moved past the introductory moment. It was a subtle shift but it changed the whole flow of the passage. I showed her that swapping to "that" made the paragraph feel anchored rather than repetitive. Another situation where this trips people up is the demonstrative use in abstract discussions. When someone says, "I don't like that idea," they're creating distance from the idea. They're positioning themselves as separate from it. If they said "I don't like this idea," it would sound like they're involved in it, perhaps even that they're the one who proposed it and are now expressing doubt. That small difference matters in professional settings where you want to be polite but clear about your position.
There's also the matter of deictic reference. This is the linguistic term for using words to point at things based on the speaker's frame of reference. In spoken English, this is almost entirely about gesture and intonation. You say "this" while gesturing toward something nearby, and "that" while gesturing toward something distant. In writing, you don't have the gesture. So writers often fall back on temporal cues. Something mentioned recently gets "this." Something mentioned further back or in a different context gets "that." One counter-intuitive thing that most learners miss is that "that" can actually sound more emphatic and personal than "this" in certain contexts. Consider these two sentences:
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"I love this song" versus "I love that song." The second one often carries more emotional weight. Why? Because "that song" implies a shared reference point. You're both thinking about the same song, and you're acknowledging that connection. "This song" can sound a bit more casual, almost like you're just mentioning something nearby. It's a nuance, not a rule, but it shows up in native speech constantly.
Now let's talk about plural forms because the same logic applies. These and those follow the identical principles. "These books on the table" versus "those books over there." The distance rule still holds, but again, it's about conversational distance too. If you're listing items in a report, you'd say "these findings suggest..." at the beginning of a section. Once the section is underway and you're building on what you've already said, you shift to "those findings indicate..." One practical limitation of relying on this distance framework is that it breaks down completely in written English when the reference isn't clear from context. I've seen business emails where the writer uses "this" and "that" interchangeably because they assume the reader can follow along. The reader can't. The workaround is simple: replace the demonstrative with the actual noun whenever there's any chance of confusion. "This proposal" instead of "this." "That meeting" instead of "that." It's slightly more wordy but it eliminates ambiguity and prevents miscommunication that costs time and money in professional settings.
Another pitfall is using "that" when you should use "which" in relative clauses. This isn't exactly the same question but it's closely related and causes the same kind of errors. When you're adding non-restrictive information, you need "which," not "that." The comma before "which" is your signal. Without the comma, "that" is fine for restrictive clauses. Mixing these up makes your writing sound amateurish to native readers. Here's a quick practical exercise if you want to internalize this. Take any paragraph from an article you're reading and highlight every instance of "this" and "that." Look at what each one refers to. Ask yourself: is the referent close or far in the conversation? Is the writer introducing something new or referring back to something established? You'll start to see patterns. Most native speakers use these intuitively without thinking about it. The goal is to move your usage from intuitive to intentional.
Some advanced situations deserve mention. In British English, there's a tendency to use "that" more broadly than in American English, even for things that are physically close. If you're listening to British podcasts or reading UK-published material, you'll notice this. "Pass me that pen" when the pen is right next to you. It's dialectal, not incorrect. Just be aware of it so you don't second-guess yourself when you hear it. There's also the reporting structure in academic and journalistic writing where "this" is used heavily to point to data, figures, and references. "Figure 3 shows..." or "This study demonstrates..." In those contexts, "this" functions almost like a pointer or a citation marker. It's not about proximity at all. It's about directing the reader's attention to a specific element on the page. Understanding this function is essential for reading academic papers in English.
The bottom line is that "this" and "that" are closer together than most grammar guides make them seem. The distance framework is a starting point, not a complete explanation. Real usage depends on conversation dynamics, emotional positioning, dialect, and the medium you're working in. Pay attention to how native speakers use these in context. Read widely. Notice the patterns. Over time, it stops being a rule you have to remember and becomes something you just feel is right.